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120915


Friendship is love.
Love is as much a feeling
as an action.
Love it time,
real friends make it.
They just let you
be you.
They help you
be a better person.

Stop.


You cannot adore me
So, don’t say it
You cannot mean it
when, as of yet,
you don’t know me

You have yet to earn the right
to see behind the mask
or to know the meaning
off all the scars

The past
that winds behind me
is not something
that you share

Stop
and listen
and help me dream
then maybe
you can know
the person I can become

Taking Notice


Make a Diffrence

I cannot say enough about how important I think it is that we notice the people around us. A lot fo things in this world would improve if we could just notice each other. It is all too easy to get caught up in the hurry of our day and our own problems. But I really believe that helping others will help you. So, go out into the world today and try to notice someone around you. Notice what they are wearing. Notice what they need. Notice how you could make their life just a tiny bit better. Notice someone and do something about it.

What Women Want?


So, I was reading some blog posts and decided that I wanted to respond to one. This response is just about how I personally feel and think about each item on the list. Just thought it’d be fun. I’ve put the post down there so you can read the post I did if you’d like.

The Post I Read

First, I think that this list applies to both genders and all types of intimate relationships. It describes what men want too! Read the rest of this entry

Monkey’s Birthday


I’d like to take a few minutes to celebrate the blessings that have come into my life through the amazing man that I have the benefit of being married to. He tends to be a quiet man that can easily blend into the background, but he is amazing. His is a life that is worth modeling your own after. A life of kindness, compassion and love. Read the rest of this entry

Thanks Giving


This is the time of year that we are supposed to set aside time to spend with our families and to remind each other of the things that we have. It is easy to get caught up in the tangled list of things that are broken, lost, missing or wished for. Some how, it is so easy to loose sight of the things that are right in our grasp that can give us happiness if we were just wise enough to notice. So, today, I list the things that matter. Read the rest of this entry

0707143


I might be spending too much time reading about Taoism. Makes strange and peotic thoughts. Too bad there is no writing them. So, I talked to my friend and I’m still not sure how to feel about his no show. But I decided to give him a tentative second chance. I gave him my calendar and told him to pick a day. I wonder if he’ll send an invite. I’m perseverating on it. Bleh. It’s just hard for me to establish that trust in new friendships. What can one do about one’s anxiety trying to grasp the future?

Piggie Update 042412


I had a doctor’s appointment yesterday and that went well. That doctor has cleared me for driving! Yays! But I do have another doctor’s appointment today before I can drive. I’m hoping that things go well there as well. I’d really like to get my license, it would make things a lot easier for us. And its has been a long and complicated process getting there. A process that I have been thoroughly annoyed with >.< Read the rest of this entry

Friend Therapy


Sometimes, all you need is for a friend to come over and remind you how to laugh. Someone to talk with for hours about nothing. Get a little drunk (or a lot) and think about nothing that really matters. I hope you had a great birthday, my love! And thanks to Adam, Missy and James for all the love and laughter. I don’t know about you guys, but I really needed it! ❤

Reflections on a Broken Relationship


There was a boy in high school that use to hang out with my brothers and I. He’d come over to the house all the time. I felt close to him then. We were, in many ways, like siblings. It was a strange relationship. There were as many fights as there were deep middle of the night conversations. There was a time in my life that I had thought that he and I would move on to being more then friends. But, it always seemed that he was ashamed of me. Then I met my husband and I fell deeply in love with him in a crazy fast way. I think I broke a few hearts in my fall. Sometimes, I’m afraid that I broke this friend’s heart too. Maybe, I didn’t give him enough time. I cannot help but wonder, on occasion, if things could have been different if I had waited just a little longer. I have no regrets. After 12 years, I am still deeply, crazy in love with my husband. Sure our relationship has changed, but it only seems to get deep and stronger. I would never want to undo that. But there is a little part of me that grieves the lost friend. There are times that I wonder if I should reach out and try to reconnect with him. But, I have to admit that I’m afraid of rejection. There seems to be so much unsaid between us. How does one deal with that? Do we bury it; ignoring it as nothing more the history? Or do we dig it all up and put it on the table to be fully exposed and examined? Perhaps something in the middle of those? After all this time, there is a part of me that still loves that boy. I know he has grown up into a man that I no longer know, but I cannot help holding onto the memories of the boy I knew and loved so very much. I think it might have broken my heart a little too. It makes me wonder if people have a moment when they can reach out and connect; a moment when that connection would almost become inevitable if action is taken on it. A moment that is lost forever if it is let to slip by with out action… I think our moment slipped by. And I think I will always carry the loss of it within my heart…

 

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