Category Archives: The Darkness…
Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows…
I’m sitting here, naked in the living room, and listening to his sister Mary’s singing trickling up through the floor boards. I’ve never met her, but in some ways I feel that I know her better then he does. There is no chance that I will ever meet her, since I never leave my apartment. I haven’t for years. There is nothing out there for me and everything comes here without problems.
I look up and out the window. As always, he is standing on the roof top and I know that he is looking at me even though I cannot see his face. It’s just the way that he is. Most likely, he is Read the rest of this entry
Give yourself 10 minutes. This is a free write. Just jot shit down as it comes to you. No editing, just post whatever came out.
And here’s what you’re going to write about:
Do you have a dark side?
Yes. There has always been a darkness inside of me. It is a place that I dislike visiting and often avoid, but is an essential part of who I am. There is no avoiding it. There is a Dark Pasenger that travels with me. His voice speaks to me of voilence and paranoia. He is everything that I hope I will not become. Yet he compells me to subcome to him. He is the monster that I fear I have already become. All my hate. All my fear. Everything inside of me that I wish I couldn’t be. All that I wish could always stay in the shadows. But it is there. I do hate. I judge. I have fears. I have violence in my heart. I have a rage that cries out in agony that it is denied. There have been times that the darkness has over come me and I slide away into it. Those were the times that the monster rose up from the shadows of my heart and came into the real world. Too bad the body doesn’t change in appearance like a werewolf. Too bad no one can see that I am no longer me. How could they know? How could they see behind the black eyes and that venom? It is something that has always been carried inside of me and I dread it’s calling. When the energy purs in and I can feel the rising tide, I know that he is coming with it. There is always that rage that will wash over everything before me in a blind tidal wave. It has no claws nor teeth, but it destros no less efficently. It kills the heart with cutting words. It shatters the hopes with violence. It smashes and destroys everything that I wish I could be. I want you to hate me for it being within me. I want you to love me for not letting it win. I want you to know me, but that means meeting him. How can I take you there? How can I let you
And time’s up!
I think these are really interesting images and I think each suggests a story. So, I decided to take the first picture and try to tell its story. There are plenty others, I’d love to see what stories you guys come up with for these!
So, last week I talked about my own mental illness in an effort to give the insider’s perspective. In that same effort, I have decided to share something that I wrote in a dark moment of my life. Know that this is not how I am feeling today and that I am currently in good space. I am sharing this only as an offering for insight into mental illness. So, let’s step into the darkness: Read the rest of this entry
I talk a lot about various mental illnesses and how we mental health professionals try to help those people regain control of their lives. Today, I want to get more personal then that. I have been writing this blog for a long while now and I have never directly discussed my own mental illness and the ways that it has effected my life. Read the rest of this entry
The wind blows in gusts,
blowing her hair back in fits.
She lets it whip around her;
its clawing and clutching hands. Read the rest of this entry