Category Archives: Ramblings and Rants
This is the home for the unstructured writing.
8 years ago today I strolled onto the scene. Hmm. Strange. Somehow it seems like I’ve been here longer.
I got to go to a paint night with mom. It was a lot of fun. I enjoyed having mom all to myself. It’s been a long time since we did anything just her and I. I’ve never been to a paint night. Glad we went. The teacher was bright, cheery Read the rest of this entry
Feeling in a down swing. When those hooks get into you there is nothing to do but to hold your head up and hope it stays above water. Cold and dark, unexpected water lapping against you for no reason. There are never any answers. Just settling in and trying to make myself comfortable in this current state of being. The downs are as important as the highs. They keep things in perspective. Looking up and reaching. Stretching, hoping that my fingers could just brush the edge… of what? I’m sure there is something there. There is no end so there must be something beyond. I want to close my eyes. Want to sleep. Palpitations knock on my ribs as though my heart would like to reveal itself. Deep breath and hold it in. Never know if the next one will come. Embrace this. Hold on. Pass through. Wonder what will be on the other side. Turn around and this down hill changes to an upward slope…
Saw the neurologist today. It’s was a new doctor because the one we were seeing had to leave. I always have anxiety when I change doctors. But I’m really happy after this appointment. I felt that she really listened to me. Getting an EEG and as long as that’s normal I’ll start tapering off the lamical. I’m really happy about this. I’ve wanted it to go for a while but was always worried about being able to drive. This doctor is going to taper it down slow and because of that I can keep driving. 😊 Looking forward to getting rid of some meds I don’t think I need any more. She is also making a change with my migraine meds. Tapering out the neurontin which wasn’t very helpful. Switching to long acting topamax. The long acting is new and gives me a potentially good option. I tried the short acting and it was fantastic for the migraines but the side effects were awful. The long acting has less side effects so I’m going to try it. Keeping my fingers crossed there.
I’ve spent most of the day crocheting. Trying to make a capelet for Dragon. I’ve got something going and the more I work on it the more excited I get about it. There have been so many ideas and projects swirling in my head. I’m on fire. Makes me sad to know that I can’t work on all of them at once. And this kind of activity means I’m on an up swing. I haven’t slept since 2000 on Sunday. And I don’t feel tired. 😓 not looking forward to the inevitable wall that I will crash into. But for now, I am trying to keep myself on task and realistic. Feel I’ve done well with that today. And I always have Monkey to help me. He’s an amazing support and I am so blessed to have him in my life. He helps me just by being there and giving me his love. It is a life line to hold into. Been a lot of bumps in the road in the past year, but I stayed together. I’ve been trying to focus on the positive things in my life. So I’ve started including something I am grateful for in my journal enteries. Today? No, I didn’t get all mushy. I am thankful for the yarn. Being able to make things is amazing. Such a blessing in my life.
I hope all of you are doing well.
Hold onto you gratitude.
Spent all night and then today crocheting. Working on figuring out making a capelet for Dragon. Been a pain in my ass. Seems like everything I’ve tried so far has been a total fail. Been frustrating but great fun. I love the challenge. I haven’t had to work this hard to make something in a long time. But at this rate it will be summer before I’m done. And well that’s not the weather for a capelet. So I have to pick up the pace and get this to work. I’m loving it. 😊
I hope that all of you are having a wonderful holiday season!