Right now I am struggling with poor focus. My brain just keeps drifting away, off to some where else. It’s random. My mind is clear and crisp. And then it’s not. The word seeking and expressive aphasia is terrible tonight. I find this frustrating. I’m at work and my job centers around talking; 90% of what I do. Suddenly, I feel like doing my job is a struggle. But people are patient and kind. It bothers me much more then it bothers them. I know this. But I want the words out. Need them out. And they just get stuck in my mouth. Then, just like that, my brain is off again. I feel useless tonight. I’m taking a break. Having some tea. It’s like there is cotton wrapped around my brain.
There are times that the expressive aphasia is more frustrating then any other symptom that I have, including the pain. People are quick to blame this on the medications, but it is actually related to the migraines. It’s can be a struggle to get an idea out of my head. Sometimes I can use a work around. Pick a word that is similar to the one that I wanted or be long winded about it by pretty much giving the word’s definition. But there are other times that the wrong word comes out. It is annoying as shit. The medications keep the pain away, but they haven’t kept away all the other migraine symptoms. I’m not sure that I want to stay on the Topamax. It just might not be worth it. The aura symptoms are far worse for me then the pain. Sigh. This shit sucks balls.