I’ve started taking Topamax for the migraines that have decided to return. The shoulder injury causes nerve pain that travels up my neck and into the right side of my head. Some times it feels like someone is driving a spike into my eye. Maybe I can come off some of the other meds if this one works but we’ll see. Right now I’m in the zombie phase and at a low dose. No idea if it will work yet. Still getting the head aches. I’m tired. And it’s making me more disorganized then I normally am. Which is awesome (not really). Being disorganized always makes me feel grumpy and irritable. I just want to lash out at everyone around me or hide in a little hole and really can’t do either. Life doesn’t give you vacations. And of course it has been one of those busy, slam you in the face kind of nights at work. I’m taking a break. I need to clear my thoughts and just sit a few minutes. I’m looking at the generations and feel a sadness settle over me. It is hard when I take care of the mother and then the daughter. It is difficult to see the daughter traveling the identical road as her mother. Makes me wonder how much choice we really have in life. I do believe that we have the power of choice, but those choices are limited by the cards that we are dealt at birth. The choices of the rich are different then the choices of the poor. The choices in this country are different then those in others. It isn’t fair and never will be. It saddens me to know that there is the possibility of more fairness in this world but the greed within the human heart keeps it from happening. Why are we so selfish? I’m really no different. It is difficult to see beyond ourselves and into the lives of others. Feeling like an island in a crowd today. Perhaps a little despondent. No reason. Just am. That’s just life. And no, I don’t think it’s the med. I just feel this way some times. I reckon all of us do.