Waiting for an in service to start at noon. Yesterday really sucked.For some reason it became excessively way too complicated to get my lamictal filled and 2 days without the meds comes at a real price for me, I have physical withdrawal symptoms that include nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain, body fatigue and headache. Nothing but serious suck. Not to mention the small detail of putting me at higher risk for having a seizure. And that carries a shit ton of fucking suck. And even though I’m on it for the seizures, there is no doubt that it effects my psych. As the day went on, I was having a harder time being calm. It is always distressing to feel that anger and outright rage slowly creeping in. I don’t think that the people making sure these meds get filled on time fully comprehend the price we patients have to pay if they don’t get their shit together and do their job right. Their bad day can lead to a stream of chaos that they remain completely blind to. It is an odd dichotomy right there. Today is so much better. The meds are back on board and I am on my way back to feeling baseline. Not that my baseline is great, but it better than the physical suffering and emerging rage. When ever I have to miss a dose, it becomes clear how much the med effects me. Some time I find that scary. Am I erasing who i am with these chemicals that are now swimming in my brain. In a way, that’s the point.