Everyday People – Me Too
I read this post and found myself nodding a lot as a read along.
That is most of the time for me. I rarely put on makeup because I rarely feel that it’s worth the hassle.
STEP 1: Oh, I’ve made the assessment for bathing prior to going to sleep and set my alarm clock accordingly. Not the kind of decision I want to make while the pillow has such a tight hold on me. I’d risk never bathing at all.
STEP 2: Yeah. I’m thankful I am not among the creatures who have to bathe with their tongues. In my job there have been some really scary things on my person and the idea of having to lick those off… I feel a little nausea creeping in…
STEP 3: I don’t shave. Ever. It’s not worth it. I wear clothing that hides the fur and call it good enough. I really don’t understand all the fuss about body hair, but seriously get tired of hearing it. Because I have made that speech and have meant every word of it. People need to back off and judge less (myself included).
STEP 4: Funny, but not something I share in.
STEP 5: I call it how I see it. People are dumb. Gender is irrelevant. I make no apology for stating that fact.
STEP 6: Spice Girls? Really? I have my own “SQUIRREL!” moments, but nothing in regards to the spice girls. However, I am not above having thoughts about how the spice must flow and how being able to fold space would make the commute shorter which would allow me to sleep longer… But then I think about those bushy eye brows and bald chicks. Maybe it’s better that the spice isn’t flowing. But then again the glowing eyes are cool…
STEP 7: I have this planned ahead as well. I do not own clothing that does not cover the important bits. I want to be covered regardless of what I am doing. As far as picking clothing out, I have to confess that the Monkey usually pulls my clothing out for me while I’m still trying to drag myself into the land of wakefulness.
STEP 8: Working at home. I’d become a hermit and would need a seriously large work load to keep me from getting super bored and thus super lazy. But being in jammies all day, every day does sound super nice. But I know that there’d still have to be an alarm clock because there would still be deadlines.
STEP 9: SQUIRREL!
STEP 10: Another time I plan ahead. Shoes have to be comfortable and practical. No heels. And I don’t care if they are in fashion. I need them to be able to carry me through a dodge or a short jog. You never know when someone will call a code and heels don’t have a place in that kind of situation.
STEP 11: I trip over the cat and/or anything else that is on or near the floor. Hasn’t been a cat in a while, but I recall those days none the less. Sometimes I think I trip over bumps in the air.
STEP 12: I seriously have nothing to add to this.
I look at my hair and whimper a little. Why is it doing that weird flippy thing? Why can’t one single haircut in my sweet, short life actually work on my dumb, fat head? I think of all my friends’ perfect hair and get jealous. No one understands me.
STEP 13: Strands of dead cells! So true and yet we still get worked up about it. In our defense, so does every other mammal. Hair is important, well, because it is.
STEP 14: SQUIRREL!
STEP 15: I sigh and let my hair feather up in weird places and stick out straight in others. These days it is too short to pull back and there is no time in a whole day to make my hair behave once it has decided to do the peacock thing. As far as maintaining my lie? I’m pretty sure people already know that I am not a natural blue, so I can let that one go for a while if I’m feeling lazy…
STEP 16: I just skip this step. It’s over rated.
STEP 17: I pat myself down because I am sure that I have forgotten something. I go through the mental check list before I drive away. I go too far to come back if I’ve over looked something so I have to be sure that I have it all now.
STEP 18: Yeah, nothing to add here.
I dream of a world where no one cares what anyone wears or how they look or smell. Then I pass by someone stinky and shake my head in disgust and judgment.
STEP 19: Yup. I knew I forgot something >.<
Realize I didn’t put on deodorant.