Feeling the Love
Monkey and I have been together 16 years now. First, admitting that makes me feel old. Many times people ask me about how to make a relationship last and how to get a “perfect” relationship. Sorry, but there are no perfect relationships and there are no “happily ever after” stories. I’m not romantic. That all being said, I decided that I would put out some thoughts on relationships.
The single most important thing that you can do to create a good relationship: Communicate with your partner. Be honest and open. Try to be tactful, but honesty is more important. When you are upset, tell them. When it happens, not 3 weeks later. If you are really angry, take a little time to calm and collect your thoughts, but don’t let it stew. If you let stuff like that fester, it will get worse. Don’t try to avoid hurting their feelings. A little hurt now is way better then a lot of hurt later. Don’t tell them after you let the little thing grow into a giant beastie that eats them in a big gooey bite; it’s messy.
There are no rules. No 2 people are a like. There fore, no 2 relationships are a like. Do what works for you and your partner. Don’t try to fit your relationship into a prescribed box. It isn’t going to fit. Smashing it in will cause it to bend and/ or break; you don’t want that.
Wait. There is one rule: Violence is never ok. Never.
Compromise. Make sure the needs of both parties are met. As for the wants, make sure that they are evenly spread around. A relationship is like sharing an apple pie. If you eat 2/3 of it, your partner isn’t going to feel like they really got an honest share. So, take turns and meet in the middle.
Alright, the last piece of advice. Get naked. No! Wait! Put your clothes back on. *blushing* Yes, that kind of naked is good. But it’s not what I am talking about here. Let your partner see beneath your facade. We all have one. But if you want to be close to someone, you have to let them look under the mask. That’s the hardest, but most important part.
This is a great article on relationships: 9 Good Signs You’re in the Right Relationship.