What Women Want?
So, I was reading some blog posts and decided that I wanted to respond to one. This response is just about how I personally feel and think about each item on the list. Just thought it’d be fun. I’ve put the post down there so you can read the post I did if you’d like.
First, I think that this list applies to both genders and all types of intimate relationships. It describes what men want too!
1. Have a backbone
Yup. I tend to be a demanding pig. And I really love that the Monkey can tell me when I’m being unreasonable or that he just doesn’t want to do something. Having spine isn’t about being willing or able to put up a fight. It’s about standing up for yourself. A relationship isn’t going to last if both people’s needs aren’t being met. If you just do what ever they want all the time, you’ll become unhappy and the relationship will fall apart. And if they don’t care about what you want and need, you should walk away.
2. Spend time with your buddies
Yes, please. Having time to myself on occasion is really nice. Also, I like to see the Monkey doing things that he enjoys and I don’t always want to be a part of those things. Him hanging out with the guys gives him a chance to be away from me. We all need a break, a change in routine and a change in pace. Going out with your friends helps with that. Not to mention that I want to be able to go hang out with my friends too. There is nothing wrong with having friends that you don’t share. And if they are friends you share, keep in mind that your friends don’t want to hang out with you every second just like you don’t want their company every second.
3. Remind her that you love her
Yup and yup. Yes, I like to hear “I love you.” But there is more to it then that. If that is all you get the words begin to feel empty. I know I am loved by the Monkey because of the things that he does, not because he tells me he loves me. He remembers what kind of candy I like and buys it on occasion. He makes me coffee. He takes the time to listen to me ramble about my day. He helps me keep my schedule sorted. And so many other things. If you want someone to know that you love them, spend time on them and make sure they know you have been thinking about them.
4. Know that she is faking
This post states that women compromise more then men. I’m not sure that this is true. But whether or not it is I think it is important for everyone to compromise. But that means that both people are getting what they want some of the time. So, if you watch their show tonight, you should be able to watch their show tomorrow. Even better if you can find shows that you both enjoy. I find that men are very compromising in the way of food. Generally speaking, if you cook it they will eat it. I’m one that feels you should tell some one if the food they’ve made isn’t tasty. How else is a cook going to get better? And how else will they know what kinds of things that you do like!
5. Bad boy and good man
I don’t find the bad boy appealing. Sure I did when I was 16, but then I grew up. But I am not looking for a protector or a provider. I need someone who will support me and take care of the chaos in my wake. That’s what I was lucky enough to find! I’m the one that works and the Monkey is the one that stays home. It really works for us. Don’t get hung up on gender roles. Do what works for you and your other half. I think that this item on the list is the only one that I don’t agree with. What a person is looking for is too varied to make it into a simple statement.
6. She’s not dressing up for you
Nope. When I cut my hair and dye it crazy colors it is for myself. It has nothing to do with anything else. I don’t dress up, but I think the hair thing falls into the same category. The other thing that I think needs to be said here is that if your other half dresses up when you aren’t going out with them, they aren’t dressing up for some one else either. People dress up because they want to feel attractive and they want to express who they are. It has nothing to do with you.
7. Shut up and listen
Yes and no. I’m going to respond to this one in context of relationships of any kind. Yes, I want to be heard. I want to be able to ramble on about shit that doesn’t really matter and have you listen to what I’m talking about. And when I have something important to say, I need to know that I am really being heard. However, I want you to talk too. I want to know what you’re dreaming, what you’ve been reading, what you had for dinner that was tasty or what ever else you want to ramble about. I need to know the important shit. So, even if you think it’ll hurt my feels or it’s hard to say: tell me. I’ll do my best to hear you.