I’d like to take a few minutes to celebrate the blessings that have come into my life through the amazing man that I have the benefit of being married to. He tends to be a quiet man that can easily blend into the background, but he is amazing. His is a life that is worth modeling your own after. A life of kindness, compassion and love.
When I was both pregnant and in college, he stood by me with a great deal of patience. A trait that I both admire and envy. A trait that comes to him as naturally as breathing. When I was freaking out over a test or under the sinister effects of a hormonal swing; he offered me calmness and comfort.
During my years of college, we had to live a life style that allowed little more then passing each other on a day to day basis. He would take care of our child during the day while I was in school. He’d pass her care to me in the evening and then attend work while I tried to study. Then we’d eat supper together and head to bed. Those times were hard and had the potential to shatter our marriage. But he always seemed to know how to make the best of the little time that we got together.
Over the years, he has sent me more love notes then I can count. I’d come home to find cards sitting on my pillow. Or I’d find that when he packed my lunch for work he had tucked a little I love you next to my sandwich. He has never hesitated to remind me that I am loved.
In all the crazy things that I have attempted to accomplish, he has been supportive and enthusiastic. When I want to try my hand at yet another creative craft, he does his finding magic and acquires the basic supplies needed. He offers no criticism when a craft is set aside and never touched again. He brings coffee and snacks when I am in a creative frenzy that causes the rest of the world to fade away.
He has stitched on many buttons for the eyes of the Little Ones in the days that my hand did not work well enough for fine detail work (I am hoping those days are forever gone). After my injury, 9 years ago, he has been supportive through all the physical therapy, doctors appointments and surgeries. He has been helpful when the workmen’s compensation insurance threw claims back at me and I had to present my case in court. He helped me dress and wash my hair when I could not do so myself.
I am not an easy person to live with. The voices in my head can scream at me to the point of complete distraction. My obsessive rituals can be all consuming. There are times that I hide myself away from everything to huddle up in the darkness. And I am capable of great fury. All this, he has accepted simply as it is. I am allowed to be the haphazard mess that I am without pressure to become anything else. If for no other reason, I am grateful for this: Through him I have been able to see the goodness in myself.
When anyone calls upon him for help, he is there to lend his hands to the work. It doesn’t matter if it is nothing he has ever done before. He is willing to listen and learn from others. He is willing to give his time to help with work that gives him no benefits. He cuts and stacks wood that heats the houses of others. He fixes the roof that stands over someone else’s head. If it is not a need he can provide assistance with directly, he is quick to provide supportive services in other ways. When my mother needed dentures, he did not hesitate to give her the money we’d been planning to use to buy new computers. He is quick at locating the resources needed online. Doesn’t matter if you need a part for a tractor, a book or a new doctor. He’s your go to guy.
He is an involved father. He is the stay at home parent that attends to all the household needs while I pursue my career in nursing. This came at a price for him and I know that he set aside his own dreams of going to college to be there for his child. There is no greater gift that a parent can give their child. He gave himself. He gave his time. He gave his love. His compassion and empathy large enough to support his daughter while continuing to offer his support to his crazy wife.
His quiet ways might make him seem like a shadow, but in my life he continues to be the blazing beacon of light that allows me to come into the day. He brings order into my chaos. He brings calm into my storms of anger and mania. He brings love into my moments of grief and despair.
I am blessed by knowing him. And I am given the even greater blessing of being loved by him. On this day of his birth, I wanted to look back and celebrate what that life has been. His has been a life full of giving freely to others.
Happy Birthday, My Love.