Reflections on a Broken Relationship


There was a boy in high school that use to hang out with my brothers and I. He’d come over to the house all the time. I felt close to him then. We were, in many ways, like siblings. It was a strange relationship. There were as many fights as there were deep middle of the night conversations. There was a time in my life that I had thought that he and I would move on to being more then friends. But, it always seemed that he was ashamed of me. Then I met my husband and I fell deeply in love with him in a crazy fast way. I think I broke a few hearts in my fall. Sometimes, I’m afraid that I broke this friend’s heart too. Maybe, I didn’t give him enough time. I cannot help but wonder, on occasion, if things could have been different if I had waited just a little longer. I have no regrets. After 12 years, I am still deeply, crazy in love with my husband. Sure our relationship has changed, but it only seems to get deep and stronger. I would never want to undo that. But there is a little part of me that grieves the lost friend. There are times that I wonder if I should reach out and try to reconnect with him. But, I have to admit that I’m afraid of rejection. There seems to be so much unsaid between us. How does one deal with that? Do we bury it; ignoring it as nothing more the history? Or do we dig it all up and put it on the table to be fully exposed and examined? Perhaps something in the middle of those? After all this time, there is a part of me that still loves that boy. I know he has grown up into a man that I no longer know, but I cannot help holding onto the memories of the boy I knew and loved so very much. I think it might have broken my heart a little too. It makes me wonder if people have a moment when they can reach out and connect; a moment when that connection would almost become inevitable if action is taken on it. A moment that is lost forever if it is let to slip by with out action… I think our moment slipped by. And I think I will always carry the loss of it within my heart…

 

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About piggie4299

I am Myself I am a Wife Blessed with love I am a Mother Endowed with divinity Through the power of creation I am a Daughter Brought into this world With unending hope And the promise of the future I am a Sister Made fierce and strong While forged with kindness Protector and protected Spiraling together forever I am a Nurse Holding out the hands of healing And offering the sick comfort And the dying love Knowing that through this All things are healed and made whole I am a Writer Creating myself and world Sharing the inner depths of humanity Bringing together the divine And the humble mortal I tell the story of the Goddess And am remembered forever

Posted on March 25, 2011, in Prompts, The Pig's Life and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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